"Commands!" It's a term still used very widely but why? And does it really matter?
Well yes ... it matters quite a lot.
Our perception of the world is a result of our experiences, present and past, our learning histories, the associations we make now and have made in the past predict what our future behaviour is likely going to be. Like dogs, we make associations, learn from those and this shapes our world view, our behaviours, our belief systems and we are influenced by those factors. We have spent years being conditioned to a certain way and it can be quite difficult to make changes (which is why we shouldn't be focusing on quick fixes with our dogs).
The association with 'command' is one of;
'you must do this'
'I say you do'
'If you don't obey....' what happens?
Why does a dog have to do anything you ask of them? They are not robots, they can make choices, and the right ones too if you nurture and teach them in positive, easy to understand steps.
Do you want a dog who fears you? Or a dog who adores you? Because if you demand the dog must do something, then it makes rational sense to provide a negative consequence, a negative consequence leads to mistrust, lack of faith, fear, avoidance and distance, which is the opposite to adoration.
Many caregivers have lost the trust of their dog through the use of punishments; shouting, scolding, time outs, hitting, alpha rolls. The list, quite frankly is almost endless. The saddest part of this though, is that not alot of people recognise their dogs lack of trust and safety in them.
The dog that hides or cowars when you walk through the door instead of bounding for joy, may be one that has been scolded too many times for performing behaviours outside of their control because they are emotionally distressed at your departure.
The dog that freezes when they hear raised voices may be one that has learned too well that they are to expect a negative event to occur, not knowing why, they just make associations from past events and it's applied to all similar circumstances.
Associations matter for us and for our dogs, it's one way we all learn.
Let's step away from 'command' and use 'cue' instead. What does this word mean for you? Is it a negative association? A positive one? Or is it neutral, meaning it has no association for you?
To use 'cue' is to suggest choice.
'I've given you a cue, if you do it, something good will happen, if you don't, nothing will happen'
This is a much healthier form of communication that builds a much healthier relationship with our dogs.
When we step away from the human hierarchy and hang our egos on the shelf and work in partnership with our dogs instead of dominate every area of their entire life, we may just find a bit of peace in ourselves.
So what if you don't have the perfect dog... guess what! No one does! Yet a dog that is free to be themselves, imperfections shining through, is the best kind of dog there is!
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